Today, the internet taught me how to behave when I ride on the train. You see, it turns out I had it all wrong. If you're a well-educated person, you apparently do have approval from some higher power to be loud and obnoxious on your cell phone. I didn't know this and have just been quietly muttering in the hopes that no one will hear. Obviously, the next time I will speak loudly and then rant and rave to anyone who politely asks me to quiet down about how many degrees I have and the locations at which they were obtained. Yes. Because this is obviously what people care about on the train more than anything. They've just been sitting there forming opinions based on how well-educated you appear to be.