Thursday, December 2, 2010

Award Season: Grammy Nominations (Are Still a Huge Joke)

I legitimately hate the Grammy Awards.  They're held up as more artistically relevant, somehow more legitimate than throwaway ratings busters like the American Music Awards, but ultimately only ever score in the 8th percentile when it comes to getting things right (period. not in terms of winners, in terms of nominations).  The 53rd annual Grammy Awards will air on CBS on February 11, so you can mark your calendars if you're excited about that shit show of lackluster prime time performances and celebrity self-congratulations.

The nominees were announced last night.  You can find the full list at Grammy.com, but let's take a look at how awful the carnage is, shall we?

Album of the Year 
Arcade Fire The Suburbs 
Eminem Recovery 
Lady Antebellum Need You Now 
Lady Gaga The Fame Monster 
Katy Perry Teenage Dream


Do you see what they've done there?  Katy Perry.  That's what they've done there.  In a year chock full of excellent pop music (Robyn, Kanye West, etc. (this is, of course, not mentioning all the non-'pop' releases))  they've opted to consider Katy Perry's overtly, unapologetically commercial, generally repetitive, scented Teenage Dream in the top 5.  Is that a joke?  Sidenote: I'm still beyond disappointed that Eminem is still around.  His music does absolutely nothing for me apart from transporting me back to the nightmare that was freshman year study hall.  We do realize that his songs generally vary little from album to album, correct?  


Record of the Year 
B.o.B (featuring Bruno Mars) "Nothin' on You"
Eminem (featuring Rihanna) "Love the Way You Lie"
Cee Lo Green "Fuck You"
Jay-Z and Alicia Keys "Empire State of Mind"
Lady Antebellum "Need You Now"



Is it just me or should "Empire State of Mind" been nominated last year?  Either way, if it doesn't win, that's ridiculous.  I would argue, too, that in terms of tracks that literally permeated and defined 2010, Lady Antebellum and B.o.B. do not belong.  They could have snuck Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" onto this list.  


Am I seriously the only person who finds "Love the Way You Lie" less emotionally relevant than just gratingly irritating?  You've got two artists with fairly obnoxious voices on one track.  Rihanna doing her sheep bleat on the farm while Eminem sounds appropriately like a white trash American pikey hurling threats at you from the doorway of his camper.  Plus: "guess that's why they call it window pane?"  


Similarly, look at this bullshit: 


Song of the Year 
Ray LaMontagne "Beg Steal or Borrow"
Cee Lo Green "Fuck You"
Miranda Lambert "The House That Built Me"
Eminem (featuring Rihanna) "Love the Way You Lie"
Lady Antebellum "Need You Now"



Best New Artist 
Justin Bieber
Drake
Florence & the Machine
Mumford & Sons
Esperanza Spalding



Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals 
"Glee" cast "Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals Version)"
Maroon 5 "Misery"
Paramore "The Only Exception"
Sade "Babyfather"
Train "Hey, Soul Sister (Live)"




Best Rock Song 
Neil Young "Angry World"
Mumford & Sons "Little Lion Man"
Kings of Leon "Radioactive"
Muse "Resistance"
The Black Keys - "Tighten Up"
Best Alternative Music Album 
Arcade Fire The Suburbs 
Band of Horses Infinite Arms 
The Black Keys Brothers 
Broken Bells Broken Bells 
Vampire Weekend Contra
I've determined that the most correct nomination category is this one.  It's not perfect, but it's at least reasonable:
Best Dance Recording
Goldfrapp "Rocket"
Robyn "Dancing on my Own"
La Roux "In For the Kill"
Lady Gaga "Dance in the Dark"
Rihanna "Only Girl in the World"





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