Monday, September 13, 2010

Swift vs. West: Round 2

The television, people.  The television was all over the place last night.  The True Blood finale happened, and man, was it underwhelming.  Alan Ball has lost control.  That show is spinning into a ridiculous place that I absolutely don't care about.  Seriously.  Yesterday it was as if script writers gave up, had everyone add "fucking" before every sentence's subject, didn't even try to build up dramatic tension, and called it a day. It felt like watching some late 90's WB supernatural teen drama, not an HBO Southern Gothic dramedy.  So lame. 

While this was happening, MTV was in the midst of their annual non-awards concert.  The best thing about the VMA's, in so far as I could tell, was the stage floor.  HYPNOTIC.  The floor?  It was all of the adjectives the affected kids use to describe things possessing awesome qualities.  For example, one could describe the floor as fiYah.   The stage as a whole managed something that was actually quite remarkable in terms of set construction: the omnipresent flashing screens in every direction made the performers at the Video Music Awards actually look as though they were in a music video at that very moment.  Let's applaud that.  Nicely done, MTV.  I got suckered in on the merits of flashy black and white lights alone, even though I know you based all your text off of the work done in the "Alejandro" video.  Yes, MTV, I see what you did there...

Of course, I fast-forwarded like all of Chelsea Handler's hosting.  Because, honestly, Chelsea Handler has like three jokes (1. I'm a total alcoholic. 2. I'm kind of a slut. 3. Sometimes, I'm faux-racist.),  all of which become old quite rapidly.  I have to ask, though, do the kids like Chelsea Handler?  Because the kids I know do not, and that kind of makes me question her "youthful appeal".

Gags wore McQueen.  Another highlight.  Also, a meat dress (hey Vogue Hommes Japan cover!). 

Mostly, though, the VMAs were really quite dull.  Florence + the Machine performed "Dog Days are Over" in what was easily the best act of the evening, Rihanna popped up to bleet through that overdone Eminem song, Robyn was over on a side stage doing what seemed to be a lead into the commercial break, and they tried to play up last year's "imma let you finish" moment by pitting performances by Kanye West and Taylor Swift up against each other via tweet counts.  Oh yes, it was an epic battle.  Swift vs. West in a war for your sympathies and affections.  Swift played up the drama and the pretty, playing her new song "Innocent" and reminding us all once again that she flops big time as a live performer.  West took a different route with his new song.  He closed the VMAs with "Runaway", a song that managed to downplay his delusions of grandeur and up his self-aware, self-parodying potential.  With a no-frills set, West's song asked the audience to "have a toast for the douchebags...assholes...scumbags"  etc..  It was surprisingly humorous, and quite possibly the best career move West could have taken.  Swift, by comparison, came away looking unspeakably bland and sadly humorless.  In my opinion, Kanye won this round.  Of course, in my opinion, the last round was sort of a toss-up.  All I can say is that I was really happy this summer when Swift sort of dropped off my pop cultural radar.  If I have to choose between her saccharine pop-country and Katy Perry's abysmal sugar rush novelty pop, I would, I admit, rather have the latter...

1 comment:

  1. TheBigCheezWhizKidRockSeptember 13, 2010

    did chelsea handler's midget come along too for more cheap laughs?

    what about the fact that taylor swift cannot sing live? you forgot that.

    they should have brought natalie imbruglia back.



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