I'm wondering who buys all these celebrity scents? Jessica Simpson is adding yet another fragrance to her line: Fancy Nights. With a little digging, I now know that it's called Fancy Nights because her original perfume is called Fancy. Yet, in spite of this simple logic, I think Fancy Nights sounds absurd. It should be advertised in a poor imitation of a British accent and by a child decked out in Disney princess gear and trying to carry an obese Russian Blue. Why? Because Fancy Nights is basically what a child calls it when their parents get dressed up and park them with the babysitter. Fancy Nights.
"What's that smell?" he asked, "It's so rich, so provocative...like the check out aisle at Kohls."
"Oh," she replied, all a flutter, "Fancy Nights."
Also, something that I learned today: Alan Cumming had a fragrance. It was called (you guessed it and don't shoot the messenger) Cumming. Oy. According to a near ancient (in internet years) post on Now Smell This, it was a scent "all about Sex, Scotch, Cigars and Scotland” with "bergamot, black pepper, scotch pine, whiskey, cigar, heather, douglas fir, rubber, leather, Highland mud, peat fire, and white truffle....plus a heavy dose of pine and some burning rubber" [source]. I repeat: oy. Though, at least with him, it's pretty obvious that he's deriving some sort of entertainment value from it, and knows it's perhaps more strange novelty joke than an activity that makes him a serious actor/business mogul. Yeah. There's an ad for it below.