Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Don't Panic! Dan Brown will probably get to the bottom of this...



Late last night I found myself idly surfing the interweb for strange happenings and odd phenomenon (by strange happenings I mean the online menu to a local hot dog joint and by odd phenomenon I mean reading all about the mystery iamamiwhoami package that showed up at MTV's doorstep) when I stumbled upon something that was suitably, satisfyingly bizarre.  This is old news, perhaps, for certain Gaga fanatics amongst us, and there's a great history of this sort of speculation on popular music; apparently there's a small movement that believes Lady Gaga to be an occult pawn. Specifically: Lady Gaga is a tool of the Illuminati.  Her persona is designed to brainwash.  She uses hidden symbols to clue in those in the know.  A website called the Vigilant Citizen has made note of all you need to know about Gaga symbology to be an informed human consumer (or, perhaps, a person with a tin foil hat).  Here are a few of the things that tipped them off:

1. "“Gaga” is probably the easiest word to say in the English language, as it is often the first sound emitted by babies trying to imitate speech. So her name basically says: I’m a lady and I’m empty-headed. This empty head can filled with any crap you want. Imitate me young people. This state of mind is achieved after successful mind control."
2."Her logo is pretty revealing and particularly fitting. Its a headless female body with a bolt of lightning going through her and exiting her genitalia. There is once again a focus on the lack of conscious thought by the singer. The body looks like the weird headless mannequins you find at clothing stores. The bolt of lightning implies that her thoughtless body has been “charged” with a force that gives it life (interesting note: trauma-based mind control is often induced using electro-shock treatments)."
3. "You only need to look at a couple of Lady Gaga pictures or videos to notice that she is constantly hiding one of her eyes. Most people will simply interpret this as ”a cool thing to do” or a “fashion statement”. Those who have passed the 101 of Illuminati symbolism know that the All-Seeing Eye is probably its most recognizable symbol. The gesture of hiding one eye, usually the left one, goes way back in occult orders. Here’s an explanation of the origin of the Eye of Horus"  [source]
The list continues.  The site provides an exhaustive amount of supposed evidence in its quest to prove that Gaga is a puppet for the Freemasons (this includes photographic documentation of Gaga acting as Baphomet) and repeatedly flashing the Eye of Horus.  It's pretty much amazing.  Even more impressive?  The comment battle that follows the post, in which the conspiracy nuts and Little Monsters go at each others throats in a word war of absolute lunacy.  "Love the article. I know she was one of them" writes one commentator. Others dig deeper, "Don’t be surprised if ‘Lady’ Gaga is really a man. That would tie her directly to Baphomet, Dionysus, and the many bisexual demigods of the Left Hand Path, and it would make PERFECT sense as an invitation to initiation into Luciferic Black Magical orders."   Still others, it seems, are more convinced by the site's previous articles on personalities such as Beyonce and Omarion. 

Best of all, though?  The below video: scored to horrifying music, making eerie use of slow motion, riddled with grammatical/spelling errors, and leading to a conclusion that ties everything back to the number one pop star of evil: Ziggy Stardust himself.  Oh! How I laughed.   

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