Thursday, January 21, 2010

Teenage Riot pt. II

Last month, as I was discussing my petty jealousy and expressing concern as to the future of young Tavi Gevinson, I wrote in passing a claim that you, dear reader, have taken me to task on. I stupidly offered up evidence from my own typed up adolescent mishaps as the pudding proof of how/why I believe that Tavi is indeed capable of writing with an affectation well beyond her years. Well, it took me awhile to get around to it (in part because I was really hoping you'd forget, but also because I've just been swamped), but I have located a few examples from my failed early attempts at novel writing. Keep in mind, I had a vision of being a wunderkind, an obsession with the word 'stiletto', and otherwise very little world experience. I've 'illustrated' the text with the various (less embarrassing) things I was really into (of course, I was also really into No Doubt and The Avengers, but I could argue that a large part of the Avengers fascination was my growing anglophilia, the clothes, and Uma Thurman, who I had wanted to look like since I saw the previews for Pulp Fiction).
A Gucci ad (circa 1999) during the golden age of Tom Ford. I may have been stuck in Abercrombie & Dr. Martens, but when my mother started subscribing to Vogue, I started obsessively memorizing the major fashion houses, countries of origin, and designers in charge. Somehow, I thought this would be important, but at the time, no one in suburban America cared. I had/have a box full of torn out advertisements (for collages and drawing material) and a sketchbook full of some of the ugliest (no, seriously) fashion designs ever (no, I will not scan them).

1. "Hortencia pushed on a forced smile behind which you could so tell that she was grinding her teeth in anguish. Oh, what extraordinary glee! What fortuitous bliss! I am grinding the devil into the ground with the tippee toe of my stiletto Gucci's. Die Devil, die! Suffer well!
Hortencia clicked her tongue and spoke, “Magda darling, don’t you have to be going?” she smiled that evil, quavering, gelatinous grin again."

2. (in which i experiment with the death of punctuation and capital letters, this piece was somehow influenced by the above, though in reality is has nothing to do with it) "in two days time i will have lost you forever you will be gone from my porcelain life and all that will remain is the hollow shell of a memory my one memento to maintain the thought and feeling that you once existed I held so many chances so many chances which slipped through the slits in my fingers with the echo of nothingness like sand falling to the other side of eternity i feel as though my life has passed me by and i am watching the one last drop of the elixir that will cement my immortality evaporate into the humid night air i am left to stand in the dull street light feeling like a transparent and ever fading ghost of who i once was why could i not just once leap up and rescue you from the demons which held you in their grasps open your eyes to see the reality you were drenched within i will forever live with that last remembrance of the way things could have been though my life will move on to the next stage of the metamorphosis in the same rapid quicksilver speed there will nevertheless be something to remind me every so often and if you orlando were to one day reappear in that familiar way what perchance would i do i would be faced with an impossible challenge that same life altering opportunity that i had neglected all those times over out of sheer fear that if i grasped it everything else would shatter into a vast wasteland of ruins so in the future would i take the chance or would i dodge back into the shadows of the former feeling soon you will have disappeared and i will ignore the question of the instant that could effect everything like the butterflys beating wings causing a hurricane on the opposite side of the ocean just disappear"

One of the Francesco Clemente paintings made for Alfonso Cuaron's 1998 "Great Expectations". I can't begin to tell you how much I loved this movie. My middle school existence was filled with important life decisions like whether or not I wanted to grow up to be Gwyneth Paltrow's version of Estella, or Anne Bancroft's eccentric Ms. Dinsmoor (yes, it's Havisham in the Dickens). I still find myself reverting to a lot of the 'wisdom' I found in this movie: "people don't change", "ragno means spider in Italian", "New York is the center of the art world", and spurts of creativity should have musical accompaniment provided by Pulp & Iggy Pop.

3. "“good old boys were drinking whisky and wine, singing this will be the day that I die…this will be the day that I die…” the words floated out of the radio speakers, drifted to the ears, and passed out of the mouths of the two young boys seated in the red leather seats of the oldsmobile. The words unnerved the mother of the darker haired one, who drove during rush hour, taking them to experience the final chapter of their favorite science fiction movie. Within their next three hours they would discover the family secrets held a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, but right now they were droning merrily to american pie. The mother flicked the radio switch, not wanting to be haunted by the thought of her son’s mortality."

Yeah, "Batman and Robin", horrible, I know. I was young! My viewing was limited! Ah, well, high and low culture, always...

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