Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Year of the Undead

The success of Twilight and "True Blood" inevitably meant an eventual blow-up of vampire related schlock. This fall safely marks the beginning of a massive onslaught of absurd attempts at the genre. It's not stopping with CW's "The Vampire Diaries" or Chan-Wook Park's highly rated Thirst, oh no, a quick google search will prove that there are literally dozens of vampire themed films in the works. To guide you through it all, i've compiled the trailers for the most intriguing, and the most absurd.

1. Daybreakers: This one's an action plague film more along the lines of standard zombie conventions than vampires. The concept is that most of the human population has been turned and is now faced with a dwindling food supply. The most promising thing about this movie is that it's well cast. Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill, and Ethan Hawke all make convincing enough vamps in my book.


2. Suck: Weird indie vampire, rock-musical, comedy road movie featuring Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Dave Foley, Malcolm McDowell and Moby? It may not be much to look at in terms of production values, but there's got to be something to it.


3. The Vampire's Assistant: Originally titled Cirque du Freak, i'm a little perplexed about the genre qualifications of The Vampire's Assistant. Based on a young adult series, the story follows a 16-year old boy who volunteers to become a half-vampire assistant in exchange for an antidote for an ailing friend. Adventure? Comedy? Kids movie? Not totally sure. Also, not convinced it's even worth watching.


4. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Undead: Dustin Hoffman's son Jake stars in this low-budget indie comedy as a stage director who becomes entangled in a 2000 year old conspiracy connecting Shakespeare, the Holy Grail, and vampires. Absurd, yes, but possibly a literary absurd?


5. Transylmania: There is no way this film is going to be any good at all, let's just get that out of the way right off. However, it is a perfect example of the inevitable decay and exhaustion of the blood sucker genre. Transylmania is a cheap teen spoof about college kids doing a wild European semester abroad in Romania. The tagline according to IMDB? "Euro-trashed! Euro-smashed! Euro-slashed!" Believe it.

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