Thursday, August 20, 2009
Jason Schwartzman Gets Married, My Life is Stalled.
So, People magazine is reporting that the multi-talented Jason Schwartzman went super stealth and got married a few days back at his home in the San Fernando Valley. He married his girlfriend of three years, designer Brady Cunningham who, as you can see, is perfectly cute and adorable.
Unfortunately, this totally throws off the imaginary life plan that was decided for me by friends back in college. In that reality, see, it was my job to marry Mr. Schwartzman so that my friends could move into my California basement and have bit parts in Sofia Coppola films. So, you know, this rift in the space time continuum will clearly be problematic and could potentially throw the balance of the cosmos completely out of whack. I'll have to consult with these same false prophets and see if they can formulate a back-up life plan perhaps not involving celebrities that i've never technically met. Until then, i'm clearly forced to live solely in the present and excise the word 'tomorrow' from my vocabulary. Pfft.