Monday, June 22, 2009

Back in the Day #8: B*Witched

Because all of the youtube versions have the embedding disabled by some silly record company, i'm posting the ridiculous phony hedgehog and cat version of this music video. The original, though not much worth it, is here.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. We had an endless supply of girl groups and boy bands, and most of them were torturous. In fact, let's say 97% of them were dreadful. In this age, the age in which i spent hours cooking up ways to avoid junior high school lunch periods, everybody wore matching outfits, the songs were infectious, and everything aimed at preteens was laced thoroughly with sexual innuendo.

Not a lot has changed. Except for maybe the groups and the matching outfits. It's all solo careers these days. Yet, B*Witched, i think, couldn't make it onto the airwaves in 2009. The Irish girl group's songs were pure sugary sweet drivel. Their most famous song stateside sounded like the theme to a Bratz home video. Their cover art was dire. I mean, just look at it...
Beautiful, right? Remedial Photoshop on a Looney Tunes backdrop with some imported WordArt. Dazzling. A festival of visual complexity that speaks directly to the value and staying power of their music.

If i sound bitter, it's because i sort of kind of am. See, I listened to their single "C'est La Vie" every day circa 1998. Multiple times a day. Not because i wanted to. Because my younger sibling and my deranged neighbors were bubble gum pop junkies who had no homework and an abundance of time to scurry about the basement and put the song on repeat. And again. And again. And lets start the disc from track one. Oh my god. Track one is a fucking pop jig. Let's watch my head explode. I know all the words to this song. I know that at the beginning one of those chicks says "Some people say i look like me dad". I don't know what that has to do with any of the other lyrics other than the chorus. But then again, none of it really ties together in a profound way. There's a boy, in a tree, lonely and playing with his toy and the girls and the huffing and puffing and blowing away. Dirty. And yet totally innocent to anyone who's mind isn't a veritable grease trap. You're with me on this, right? Dirty.

But, Jon and Kate Gosselin admirers, take the advice of B*Witched. The pair has officially announced their separation. Don't worry, though, the TV cameras won't stop rolling, they'll just do what they basically have already been doing: filming their individual time with the children separately. C'est la fraking vie.

1 comment:

  1. To be honest, you sound like you haven't got a clue. They sold millions and were exactly what the industry was about for kids at the time! Clearly it wasn't your cup of tea but it's not a crime that they didn't impress you! They did good and made a lot of people very happy! tough **** that you weren't one of them! Get over it!



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