Friday, April 10, 2009
In the Fifth, Your Ass Goes Down...
If you needed a reminder that Quentin Tarantino is damn serious about his obsessive love of all things pop culture, he'll be returning to mentor the 7 remaining American Idol finalists for next week's "Idols at the Movies" theme. This is the director's second appearance on the show, as you may recall, he served as a guest judge for a similarly themed episode in season three.
Now, as much as i like Tarantino, i have a few questions. First off: what sort of advice can he give to a bunch of cheese-pop singers? Judging i understood, but "mentoring"? Does Tarantino have a secret career as a voice coach on the side? Is he going to stand there and be like, "when you sing this song from Saturday Night Fever, you really have to understand Tony's motivation, he's the fucking man, right? He's stepping out as a bad motherfucker."
Second: who does his appearance on Idol benefit? Because, honestly, the remaining audience for that show post-season 3 seems to be made up of folks like my aunts, who just like seeing smiling youths destroy pop standards and motown tracks.
Third: really, Tarantino? Really? You still watch American Idol? Are you serious? You feel the need to contribute to furthering the celebrity status of a handful of musically-ignorant talent show contestants? I mean, i looked at the website, man, and half of them list Michael Jackson as a favorite artist. The only one who ventures outside of predictable is Fall Out Boy reject Adam Lambert, who, as far as i can tell, is quite possibly an incredibly creepy fame whore.
Fourth: Isn't Idol dead yet? Do we have a pulse?