Tuesday, April 14, 2009


This is so cute it blows my mind. I hope this project isn't over before I jet off to NYC. I wish to help these bots in need.

I Appreciate This.

Random: Things for me to worry about....

Remember back in the day when the old folks used to mess with you and tell you that if you ate a watermelon seed a watermelon would grow inside of you? I didn't buy it, but i was always a little suspicious. Apparently, my suspicions were not without their reasons...though i'm really not sure i buy this.

Artyom Sidorkin, a 28-year old Russian, went into the hospital complaining of chest pain. After some x-rays, doctors were convinced they'd found a tumor in his lungs. When they went in to remove it, they found a 5 centimeter fir tree. Not a branch. A tree. Not in his stomach. In his lungs. Turns out he'd been coughing up blood because pine needles were stabbing his capillaries.

This is the best part...the doctors believe "that the patient might have inhaled a small bud, which then started to grow inside his body." [source]

What. The. Frak.

Trailer: Antichrist

Lars von Trier's Antichrist - Official Trailer from Zentropa on Vimeo.

Lars von Trier's Antichrist has a trailer, and while we don't get too much, we get a ton of atmosphere, a sense of impending doom, and the possibility that this could perhaps be one of the best horror films in years. According to me. Because, really, nature is much freakier than teen slasher flicks.

Well Played, France

French Elle is taking a bold step that in America is only taken by confidant middle aged ladies in magazines like Shape, their April issue is dedicated to images of stars without makeup OR retouching.

I'm curious to see the finished product, and whether or not the theme blankets the entire issue, or merely a cover and spread. I'm banking on the latter, but would be fairly impressed if i were wrong.

How long will it be before American Elle follows suit? I guess we'll see. Why didn't they think of this before? Tabloids seem to sell like crazy everytime they throw together a couple dozen candid shots of celebrities looking like normal people, i'm sure with some high gloss fashion photography, big guns like Elle or Vogue could do even better. But then again, we do like our photoshopping, don't we?

Dora the Explorer Grows Up...

If you have contact with any sort of child under the age of 8, you're aware of the existence of Dora the Explorer. Earlier this year it was announced that a tween Dora would be making her debut in an effort to capture a slightly older market (and sell some fashion dolls). Now, we have seen the face of 10 year old Dora, and it is not to be trusted...

Compare/Contrast? Hit the jump.

Hmmm. 10-years old, eh? I'd put her face more at 17. Mattel claims she isn't wearing any makeup, but i suspect she's got a secret stash on the side. She certainly is into the accessories and ballet flats, which will really hold her back on her explorations, unless she's just navigating the troubled waters of adolescence. I'd love to see her teach Spanish phrases like "I just got my period" or "I have a massive crush on Juan."

Also, apparently Dora is the offspring of Danica McKeller. Winnie Cooper, anyone?

Aaaaaand just for fun...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Niche Marketing

I don't know how it is in your part of the world, but here, whenever i go to my nearest theater specializing in "art house" fare, i'm subjected to at least one pre-show ad for Stella Artois. Thus, i now associate Stella Artois with sitting in the dark in a room 1/3 full and reading subtitles. Apparently, this is precisely what the company is shooting at. In fact, their new web campaign is taking it further. They've created a website that re-imagines a few random moments in pop culture history as New Wave cinema. The "Triple Filtered Film" above is the battle sequence in 8 Mile taken to a pseudo-beatnik level. Godard, Truffaut and Vadim mixed into one and made rather bland. I appreciate the effort....but i'm not sure what it accomplishes. Other than making Stella Artois look like the classy beret and scarf wearing beer of aesthetes.

Personally, if i want to see 8 Mile remixed with classic cinema, i'll stick with the old 8 1/2 Mile. Because really, i'm pretty sure the simple mashing up of "Lose Yourself" and Fellini's film says more.

For the other Smooth Originals, click here.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Just Because...

I thought i was pretty much the only person who watched the CW's super-snarky fashion journalism competition Stylista during its run last year, but perhaps Alec Baldwin enjoyed it as well. Baldwin attended the premiere of his new indie Lymelife with deserving Stylista winner Johanna Cox as his date. In case you were wondering, he's 51, she's 29. Well then.

In the Fifth, Your Ass Goes Down...

If you needed a reminder that Quentin Tarantino is damn serious about his obsessive love of all things pop culture, he'll be returning to mentor the 7 remaining American Idol finalists for next week's "Idols at the Movies" theme. This is the director's second appearance on the show, as you may recall, he served as a guest judge for a similarly themed episode in season three.

Now, as much as i like Tarantino, i have a few questions. First off: what sort of advice can he give to a bunch of cheese-pop singers? Judging i understood, but "mentoring"? Does Tarantino have a secret career as a voice coach on the side? Is he going to stand there and be like, "when you sing this song from Saturday Night Fever, you really have to understand Tony's motivation, he's the fucking man, right? He's stepping out as a bad motherfucker."

Second: who does his appearance on Idol benefit? Because, honestly, the remaining audience for that show post-season 3 seems to be made up of folks like my aunts, who just like seeing smiling youths destroy pop standards and motown tracks.

Third: really, Tarantino? Really? You still watch American Idol? Are you serious? You feel the need to contribute to furthering the celebrity status of a handful of musically-ignorant talent show contestants? I mean, i looked at the website, man, and half of them list Michael Jackson as a favorite artist. The only one who ventures outside of predictable is Fall Out Boy reject Adam Lambert, who, as far as i can tell, is quite possibly an incredibly creepy fame whore.

Fourth: Isn't Idol dead yet? Do we have a pulse?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

What Would Mrs. Weasley Say?

Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley to you) is putting in his bid to join Daniel Radcliffe in the non-wizarding world of more adult fare with Cherrybomb. No world on whether or not the 20-year old actor is getting all full frontal Equus on us, but he will be engaging in other reckless young adult acts of the sex, drugs, binge drinking, and grand theft auto variety. Ah, youth. Since i'm currently nursing a small obsession with UK teen drama Skins, this is looking right up my alley.

On the Harry Potter front, never fear, Grint won't be 30 for the 7th book's adaptation. The first of the two-part Deathly Hallows project is currently filming and slated for a 2010 release, with part II in pre-production and aiming for 2011.

Revolution #9/9/09

September 9, 2009. Remember that date. Remember it well. It is the official start date for yet another round of Beatlemania. For that is the date that millions will line up in front of Best Buy outlets nationwide hoping to purchase The Beatles: Rock Band. Oh yes. It will be beautiful. Finally, an edition of Rock Band that every single person i know may be content playing. Even my mother. "I Am the Walrus" better be on there. Seriously.

Additionally, if you're a non-gaming purist, EMI and Apple Corps Ltd. have also announced that 9/9 will be the date that the digitally remastered editions of all 12 of the band's albums will be released. Each one will be packaged with replicated album art, "rare" photos, and also contain a documentary on the process of recording that particular work. Honestly, i never had much of a problem with the sound quality on any of my old discs (or records), but the White Album in 7.1 surround could be quite lovely.

Random: Not Lost in Translation

Some brilliant genius has compiled a series of Japanese ads Nicholas Cage shot for a company that makes pachinko games....and they're awesome. Cage may not make many decent films these days, but he sings a mean non$en$e song.

If She Hasn't Learned By Now...

This chick jumped off the deep end again. Are we surprised? No? Anyone?

That's what i thought.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Novelty Treats: Green Porno

I know, it's been a few days. Things are crazy, but there's no excuse. In an attempt to make up for it, i offer you a curiosity in the form of Isabella Rossellini's series of shorts for Sundance Channel: Green Porno. Hilarious and, frankly, highly educational, the segments in Green Porno 1 will teach you all about the mating habits of insects with a Gondry-type aesthetic. Green Porno 2 covers various marine life. Curious? Yeah. You really need to watch this.


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