Another Two Reasons Why I REALLY Loathe Jennifer Aniston

I don't like Jennifer Aniston. I didn't like her on that god-awful television show she was paid too much for. I don't like 85% of the movies she chooses to star in. I don't like how everyone gushes over how 'nice' and 'normal' she seems (I am positive, POSITIVE, that she is neither, for the record, and still side firmly with Angelina Jolie on principles of manifest destiny and talent alone.). I don't even like her face.

And two new reasons not to like her? One: she's starring in that damn sappy looking dog movie that will shoot to #1 at the box office because it has puppies AND Rachel from their fave show of like all time. Two: she promotes the PG-rated dog movie by doing a photo shoot where she poses like this:

and then i puke a little bit. Ok, she has a great body for 40. But seriously, only this bitch would do an orgy-tastic photoshoot for a chick flick dog movie and justify it by having that stupid grin plastered onto her photoshopped face. Men-folk, tell me, do you fall into the cult of Jennifer?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Award Season

You thought Christmas was great because it's Christmas? No, Christmas is only great because in the days around Christmas, the world is given all the fabulous movies that Hollywood stores up until glorious award season. Yes, i love award season. I love to watch the films. I love to argue about the merits of the films. I love to get insanely angry about who they decide to give Oscars to. It fills me with joy. It's like a sports season to me. You keep your football scores, i'll check the stats on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Anyway. The Hollywood Foreign Press released their nominees for the Golden Globe Awards yesterday, and while i haven't seen everything yet there are already a few surprises. Mainly: Tom Cruise got a supporting nomination for his "cameo" in Tropic Thunder. Really? So, what you're saying is, if someone puts on a fat suit, says 'fuck' a lot, and does some disturbing dance moves for 5 minutes to Flo-Rida's "Low" this is a reason to recognize their incredible ability?

I'll take that into consideration.

Hit the jump for the nominees.

FILM

BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire

BEST MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY

Burn After Reading
Happy-Go-Lucky
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

ACTOR, DRAMA

Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

ACTRESS, DRAMA

Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kristin Scott Thomas, I've Loved You So Long
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

ACTOR, COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Javier Bardem, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Colin Farrell, In Bruges
James Franco, Pineapple Express
Brendan Gleeson, In Bruges
Dustin Hoffman, Last Chance Harvey

ACTRESS, COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Rebecca Hall, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky
Frances McDormand, Burn After Reading
Meryl Streep, Mamma Mia!
Emma Thompson, Last Chance Harvey

SUPPORTING ACTOR

Tom Cruise, Tropic Thunder
Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Ralph Fiennes, The Duchess
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Amy Adams, Doubt
Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Kate Winslet, The Reader

DIRECTOR

Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Stephen Daldry, The Reader
David Fincher, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
Sam Mendes, Revolutionary Road

SCREENPLAY

Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
David Hare, The Reader
Peter Morgan, Frost/Nixon
Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
John Patrick Shanley, Doubt

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany)
Everlasting Moments (Sweden)
Gomorrah (Italy)
I've Loved You So Long (France)
Waltz With Bashir (Israel)

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
WALL-E

ORIGINAL SCORE

Alexandre Desplat, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Clint Eastwood, Changeling
James Newton Howard, Defiance
A.R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire
Hans Zimmer, Frost/Nixon

ORIGINAL SONG

"Down to Earth," WALL-E; music by Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman; lyrics by Peter Gabriel
"Gran Torino," Gran Torino; music by Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens; lyrics by Kyle Eastwood, Michael Stevens
"I Thought I Lost You," Bolt; music & lyrics by Miley Cyrus, Jeffrey Steele
"Once in a Lifetime," Cadillac Records; music & lyrics by Beyoncé Knowles, Amanda Ghost, Scott McFarnon, Ian Dench, James Dring, Jody Street
"The Wrestler," The Wrestler; music & lyrics by Bruce Springsteen

TELEVISION

TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA

Dexter
House
In Treatment
Mad Men
True Blood

ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA

Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
January Jones, Mad Men
Anna Paquin, True Blood
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA

Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, The Tudors

TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL

30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
The Office
Weeds

ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Debra Messing, The Starter Wife
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Kevin Connolly, Entourage
David Duchovny, Californication
Tony Shalhoub, Monk

MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

A Raisin in the Sun
Bernard and Doris
Cranford
John Adams
Recount

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Judi Dench, Cranford
Catherine Keener, An American Crime
Laura Linney, John Adams
Shirley MacLaine, Coco Chanel
Susan Sarandon, Bernard and Doris

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Ralph Fiennes, Bernard and Doris
Paul Giamatti, John Adams
Kevin Spacey, Recount
Kiefer Sutherland, 24: Redemption
Tom Wilkinson, Recount

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Eileen Atkins, Cranford
Laura Dern, Recount
Melissa George, In Treatment
Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Denis Leary, Recount
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Blair Underwood, In Treatment
Tom Wilkinson, John Adams .

RIP

Ultimate pin-up icon and bondage queen Bettie Page passed away yesterday after contracting pneumonia in the wake of a heart attack earlier this month. It's a sad day for rockabilly chicks the world round. Rest in peace, Bettie, rest in peace.

There are no words...

The next 'Dick in a Box'? Quite possibly. Actually, last week's Malkovich hosted SNL was pretty decent. Boy George? Judy Blume? Calculatah? Good stuff.

Two in One Year

One of the greatest people on Earth is a Vanity Fair cover girl for the second time this year. America has recognized the brilliance of one Elizabeth Stamatina Fey, finally. After years of SNL, a couple movies, an incredible sitcom and a few award statuettes, in the end all it really took was a dead-on impersonation of a certain polarizing VP-candidate to knock the reluctant Fey into the limelight. Figures.

Fey graces the pages of VF's January 2009 issue and once again gives an interview that really makes me wonder if she's an alternate reality, older, more theatrical and half-Greek version of myself. Yeah, i just detoured into crazy territory. But seriously, Tina, we should hang out.



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Mid-Week Mixtape #1

I think this sort of captures the spirit of this whole deal. At least these days.

*the 'unknown' track is by We Are Standard