Monday, November 17, 2008

Dame Helen Mirren

I once had a Professor, an older Shakespearean type with a voice that flawlessly blended British and Harvard accents (though, i believe, he grew up somewhere incredibly mundane...Michigan, perhaps?), who proclaimed Dame Helen Mirren to be the "MOST beautiful, MOST talented" actress/woman of all time. Also, did i mention that this Professor was gay? Yeah. See? Helen Mirren is so powerful she turns gay men straight.

You know what else Helen Mirren does? Bewitches reporters for The Times. Of course.

In the interview for the Sunday edition, there are some almost inappropriate (and insanely hilarious) remarks and asides from the reporter in question.

Check these out:

On her motorbike: "You imagine Mirren in her leathers. Striking. “The major problem was, when you stop at a light: you can’t balance, so you have to put one foot down and hold the bike up.” She stands up and straddles as if riding a bike to demonstrate. She’s wearing a cotton suit in milky beige and a white T-shirt. As she bends down, the skirt stretches over her bottom and thigh. Extremely tight."

On Love Ranch: "“My husband’s film is called Love Ranch. It’s a brothel in Nevada in the 1970s,” she says with a tiny but perceptible glint of naughtiness in her eye. Are you a madam? “Of course. I’m not one of the old girls,” she laughs. She could be — very many people would definitely want to have sex with her. "

While Analyzing Mirren's Pin-Up Appeal: "I wonder if this adds to her particular kind of sexual omnivorousness."

For No Reason: "Mirren is quite a tease."

In Conclusion:"She beams mesmerisingly.
As I get up to go, she stops me and says, “And thank you for the view.” I blush. I was jet-lagged, I had no clean underwear, so I’d gone without. I didn’t think she’d notice. But she did. And she laughs, the minx.

Oh, the minx.



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